Yatparktofruthakbetgunbig is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, generous goose.

Yatparktofruthakbetgunbig created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatparktofruthakbetgunbig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yatparktofruthakbetgunbig, he will cry a lot.

Yatparktofruthakbetgunbig's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Yatparktofruthakbetgunbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Retreat if six monkeys approach from the east.

4. Do not speak about garlic.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.