Tettisafstigshavgatnigweesat is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unsympathetic dragonfly.

Tettisafstigshavgatnigweesat created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tettisafstigshavgatnigweesat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tettisafstigshavgatnigweesat, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tettisafstigshavgatnigweesat's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tettisafstigshavgatnigweesat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help eagles.

2. Do not take Tettisafstigshavgatnigweesat's name in vain.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tettisafstigshavgatnigweesat.

5. Never eat green fruit.