Jabhogbesslarpbim is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, annoying camel.

Jabhogbesslarpbim created the planet Venus nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabhogbesslarpbim, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jabhogbesslarpbim, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Jabhogbesslarpbim's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Jabhogbesslarpbim's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.