Pinbellten is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, all-knowing wyrm.

Pinbellten created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Pinbellten, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pinbellten, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pinbellten's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Pinbellten's Holy Commandments

1. Pinbellten loves birds, so they must be respected.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never write about solid mechanics.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never feed cherries to cats while wearing ear rings.