Targbesssaw is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omnipotent guinea pig.

Targbesssaw created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targbesssaw, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Targbesssaw, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Targbesssaw's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Targbesssaw's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven dogs approach from the south.

2. Always help frogs in need.

3. Always help squirrels.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about fire.