Tikhivkon is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, merciful clam.

Tikhivkon created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tikhivkon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tikhivkon, she will have a low opinion of you.

Tikhivkon's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Tikhivkon's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.