Larpvonkbim is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, happy shrew.

Larpvonkbim created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpvonkbim, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Larpvonkbim, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Larpvonkbim's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Larpvonkbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum mechanics.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Hide if three dogs approach from the north.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always help great tits.