Jampankab Hubzogsab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous narwhal.

Jampankab Hubzogsab created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jampankab Hubzogsab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jampankab Hubzogsab, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Jampankab Hubzogsab's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Jampankab Hubzogsab's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never chant near voles.

3. Never write about electromagnetism.

4. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

5. Do not keep eight whales in a large pit.