Dumpompang is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, self-assured human.

Dumpompang created oxygen nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumpompang, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dumpompang, she will turn you into a rat.

Dumpompang's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Dumpompang's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five tapirs approach from the east.

2. Hide from pink great tits for they are unholy.

3. Erect three silver sculptures of Dumpompang on top of important buildings.

4. Ducks are not to be trusted.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.