Japbepfob is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, staggering clam.

Japbepfob created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japbepfob, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Japbepfob, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Japbepfob's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Japbepfob's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Never chant in the presence of turtles.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Fast once a month.