Wotzogbam is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful eagle.

Wotzogbam created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotzogbam, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wotzogbam, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Wotzogbam's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Wotzogbam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five horses approach from the north.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wotzogbam.