Gofbugcen is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless badger.

Gofbugcen created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofbugcen, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gofbugcen, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gofbugcen's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gofbugcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Feed all hungry otters.

3. Worship no other gods but Gofbugcen.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Respect your elders.