Xencusssad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, overgenerous aardvark.

Xencusssad created the planet Jupiter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xencusssad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xencusssad, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Xencusssad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Xencusssad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Retreat if five foxes approach from the north.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Never play with disobedient children.