Jatwapleg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, grumpy bee.

Jatwapleg created the Whirlpool Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatwapleg, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jatwapleg, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jatwapleg's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Jatwapleg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near horses while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing four copper spheres on your arms.

5. Do not stand on grass.