Flanlittan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, proud toad.

Flanlittan created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Flanlittan, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Flanlittan, he will be very unhappy.

Flanlittan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Flanlittan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Flanlittan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Never look in ponds.