Pigbemgut Nurquartsas is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, two-faced coyote.

Pigbemgut Nurquartsas created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigbemgut Nurquartsas, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pigbemgut Nurquartsas, it will remove you from existence.

Pigbemgut Nurquartsas' most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Pigbemgut Nurquartsas' Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Pigbemgut Nurquartsas on top of all buildings.