Zimpadfig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, cheerful warg.

Zimpadfig created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimpadfig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zimpadfig, she will turn you into a goat.

Zimpadfig's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Zimpadfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Do not dye your hair magenta.

5. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.