Flagsafloopbimjangodcudcat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, egotistical monkey.

Flagsafloopbimjangodcudcat created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flagsafloopbimjangodcudcat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flagsafloopbimjangodcudcat, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flagsafloopbimjangodcudcat's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Flagsafloopbimjangodcudcat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about sharks.

5. Always help shrews in need.