Kanzentar is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, duplicitous grasshopper.

Kanzentar created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanzentar, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kanzentar, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Kanzentar's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Kanzentar's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Kanzentar must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never mention manatees.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.