Voltonkgonnut is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, sapient dugong.

Voltonkgonnut created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Voltonkgonnut, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Voltonkgonnut, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Voltonkgonnut's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Voltonkgonnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum gravity.

2. Voltonkgonnut loves manatees, so they must be respected.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Voltonkgonnut.

4. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.