Sigwadfas is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sapient giraffe.

Sigwadfas created the solar system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigwadfas, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sigwadfas, he will throw large rocks at you.

Sigwadfas' most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Sigwadfas' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine whales approach from the north.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.