Gesspop is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, resourceful spider.

Gesspop created a Higgs boson three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gesspop, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gesspop, he will turn you into a goat.

Gesspop's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Gesspop's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to nematodes while wearing rings.

2. Never write about optics.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink alcohol.