Stipyaksom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish warg.

Stipyaksom created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stipyaksom, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Stipyaksom, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Stipyaksom's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Stipyaksom's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Stipyaksom in the centre of the settlement.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.