Dogafzod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, vain giraffe.

Dogafzod created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogafzod, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dogafzod, he will turn you into a sheep.

Dogafzod's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Dogafzod's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not kill bats.

4. Never hurt nematodes.

5. Never eat bark.