Narlhonran is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, dishonourable hydra.

Narlhonran created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Narlhonran, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Narlhonran, he will come to you in dreams.

Narlhonran's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Narlhonran's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near foxes while wearing gray corsets and balancing seven titanium spheres on your back.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not listen to music.