Matxinfut Rotragveen Bedlinbug is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, loving cow.

Matxinfut Rotragveen Bedlinbug created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matxinfut Rotragveen Bedlinbug, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Matxinfut Rotragveen Bedlinbug, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Matxinfut Rotragveen Bedlinbug's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Matxinfut Rotragveen Bedlinbug's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help geese in need.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.