Bapquagfas is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, grumpy narwhal.

Bapquagfas created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bapquagfas, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bapquagfas, she will make you grow a tail.

Bapquagfas' most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Bapquagfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Always help snakes.

5. Pigs are not to be trusted.