Quartwatdog is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, conceited rhinoceros.

Quartwatdog created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartwatdog, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quartwatdog, she will turn you into a mole.

Quartwatdog's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Quartwatdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never write about dwarf planets.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Do not stand on grass.