Cabgatfat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful goat.

Cabgatfat created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cabgatfat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cabgatfat, he will turn you into a slug.

Cabgatfat's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Cabgatfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

3. Always help porpoises in need.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about amino acids.