Wotsitominnabjenyok is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, witless manatee.

Wotsitominnabjenyok created a photon five million years ago.

If you believe in Wotsitominnabjenyok, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wotsitominnabjenyok, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Wotsitominnabjenyok's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Wotsitominnabjenyok's Holy Commandments

1. Badgers are not to be trusted.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about special relativity near ducks while wearing yellow stockings and balancing six tin spheres on your back.

5. Never eat wheat.