Pagtarptit Quimtigveen is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, selfish slug.

Pagtarptit Quimtigveen created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagtarptit Quimtigveen, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pagtarptit Quimtigveen, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Pagtarptit Quimtigveen's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Pagtarptit Quimtigveen's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.