Kabbimpod Gudhamgan is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unfair crow.

Kabbimpod Gudhamgan created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabbimpod Gudhamgan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kabbimpod Gudhamgan, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kabbimpod Gudhamgan's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Kabbimpod Gudhamgan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Mites are not to be trusted.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink alcohol.