Capmatjap is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, smart capybara.

Capmatjap created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Capmatjap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Capmatjap, he will jump up and down on your head.

Capmatjap's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Capmatjap's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never hop near ducks.

3. Do not take Capmatjap's name in vain.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.