Ontcub is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, emotional lion.

Ontcub created the Tadpole Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontcub, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Ontcub, he will turn you into a rat.

Ontcub's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Ontcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near squirrels while wearing gray corsets and balancing six tin spheres on your hands.

2. Do not eat figs.

3. Worship no other gods but Ontcub.

4. Never go into green rooms.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ontcub.