Bittimbag Haphotgil is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, temperamental giraffe.

Bittimbag Haphotgil created energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bittimbag Haphotgil, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bittimbag Haphotgil, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bittimbag Haphotgil's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bittimbag Haphotgil's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always help monkeys.

3. Never chant in the presence of porpoises.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.