Pitbodpas is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-confident salamander.

Pitbodpas created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbodpas, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pitbodpas, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Pitbodpas' most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Pitbodpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill capybaras.

2. Run away from cyan mites, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Do not drink alcohol.