Fossmitcambeg Bassnegbed is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, impressive weasel.

Fossmitcambeg Bassnegbed created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossmitcambeg Bassnegbed, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fossmitcambeg Bassnegbed, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fossmitcambeg Bassnegbed's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fossmitcambeg Bassnegbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

4. Never wear fawn shorts.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.