Jatgamqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, capable dugong.

Jatgamqueeg created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatgamqueeg, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jatgamqueeg, he will make you grow a tail.

Jatgamqueeg's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Jatgamqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jatgamqueeg.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never feed lots of peas to whales while wearing purple shoes.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.