Kamfem is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, loving faun.

Kamfem created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kamfem, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kamfem, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kamfem's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Kamfem's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never sit in the presence of eagles.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never think about moons.