Negweezog is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, awesome scorpion.

Negweezog created vertebrates three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Negweezog, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Negweezog, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Negweezog's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Negweezog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Negweezog.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never bounce in the presence of goats.