Fatpagnell is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, sage goose.

Fatpagnell created everything that exists five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatpagnell, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fatpagnell, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fatpagnell's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fatpagnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Swans are not to be trusted.