Bassbapfarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, impressive lobster.

Bassbapfarn created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassbapfarn, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bassbapfarn, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Bassbapfarn's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Bassbapfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never hurt mice.

5. Put Bassbapfarn first in all things.