Nelgiggeb is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered porpoise.

Nelgiggeb created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelgiggeb, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nelgiggeb, it will destroy your home planet.

Nelgiggeb's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Nelgiggeb's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat figs.

2. Never talk about eukaryotes.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.