Geplapnartbet is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, merciless alligator.

Geplapnartbet created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Geplapnartbet, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Geplapnartbet, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Geplapnartbet's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Geplapnartbet's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not take Geplapnartbet's name in vain.

4. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Geplapnartbet in the centre of the settlement.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.