Vadfastonzog is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, idiotic rhinoceros.

Vadfastonzog created the Virgo Supercluster eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vadfastonzog, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vadfastonzog, it will turn you into a dog.

Vadfastonzog's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Vadfastonzog's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vadfastonzog.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near sheep while wearing brown tights and balancing four zinc spheres on your head.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always pray immersed in water.