Bonkhapbetbiftom is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, omniscient crane.

Bonkhapbetbiftom created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkhapbetbiftom, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bonkhapbetbiftom, he will turn you into a goat.

Bonkhapbetbiftom's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bonkhapbetbiftom's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bonkhapbetbiftom.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Hide from mauve whales for they are unholy.

5. Worship no other gods but Bonkhapbetbiftom.