Kandadved is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omnipotent lobster.

Kandadved created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kandadved, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kandadved, it will torture you forever.

Kandadved's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Kandadved's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near cats while wearing mauve stockings and balancing three platinum spheres on your legs.

2. Never run near horses.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Always look after injured seals.

5. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.