Ganwatrilbonsag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, emotional weasel.

Ganwatrilbonsag created the Sol system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganwatrilbonsag, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ganwatrilbonsag, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ganwatrilbonsag's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Ganwatrilbonsag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Never hurt bats.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never talk about fire.