Tonktonmab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, amazing jaguar.

Tonktonmab created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonktonmab, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tonktonmab, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tonktonmab's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Tonktonmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near voles while wearing yellow trousers and balancing three nickel spheres on your neck.

2. Never talk about badgers.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Always help sick goats.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.