Ganwipbab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, amazing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ganwipbab created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Ganwipbab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ganwipbab, he will send you a sign.

Ganwipbab's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Ganwipbab's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Run away from mauve cats, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat green fruit.